would include Joe Biden, who proves that it takes more than a village to sponsor some idiots—sometimes a whole fuckin' country, or an entire goddamned world—and makes us really fuckin' miss Dan Quayle.
And then, there are the fuckin' Sanfords—worse, the not-so-fucking Sanfords—who should just go into sex counseling for crying out loud: I like a good Bible study group as much as the next girl, but on a certain D.H. Lawrence level, one has to strengthen the earthier sides of the marriage vow as well as exercising one's spiritual muscles. Less Bible, more Kegel. LIfe requires balance, kids: open your flies (with each other). And close both of your fucking traps.
Yeah, right: "I don't have sex with my husband any more, but I'm a fucking victim!" Good for you, for not being co-dependent. Now shut up.