Today was apparently the United Nations roast of America and Israel. There was an all star line-up of featured speakers.
First up they went old school with the man with a plan if you wanted some shit blown up in the 80's. He took a little time off after Ronald Reagan dropped a fucking bomb on his pad. Don't kid yourself though, this guy still wants to party like its 1980, its Muammar Qaddaffi! How the fuck are we supposed to spell your name today Gaddafi? I don't want to say Muammar is still a terrorist but hey, did this guy ever, and I mean ever, apologize for the "infidels" he had killed? No, and why the fuck should he, right? What's that Moemer? You still hate America? You support Al Quaeda and wish Obama could be President forever? Well, don't we all? This guy still kills 'em after all these years. Ok Mohammar, time to go, no seriously, get off the fucking stage. Is that an F-14 I hear overhead?
Next up, Hugo Chavez. You all remember Hugo, he recently did an interview on how to indoctrinate school children into socialism. Hugo says the Devil (George W. Bush) was here yesterday and it still smells like sulphur today. Man, you can never hear too many George W. Bush is the fucking Devil/ Hitler jokes can you? The whole U.N. system is worthless? I can't disagree with that Hugee baby. Tell Sean Penn we said kiss our asses.
Now, welcome to the stage, here to apologize for the U.S. of A. and ready to dictate policy to Israel...Barack Hussein Obama. I don't want to say that he's sorry, but man, this mother fucker is sorry, if you know what I mean. Israel, why don't you stop getting in the way of Palestinian bombs and Muslim civilizations eh? No seriously, get the fuck out!
Alright folks, time to take a break. Don't go too far though, the big finish is coming up. See if you can guess which holocaust denier has been given a forum to bash America and threaten Israel. That's right...its that crazy fucking Muslim who wants to blow Israel the fuck up...Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! We apologize to Vladimir Putin, maybe we can get your ass in tomorrow.