Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Rare F-Bomb at The House of Eratosthenes

Getting called out by name in a famous comic strip can drive one to such, I suppose.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Fucking Christmas, Everyone

And Happy Fucking New Year, too.

May 2010 be less of a shit sandwich than 2009.

From all of us at Fucking Conservatives - the best to you 3 who read us and yours this holiday season.

Maryk Out.

Update: (Smitty)
And the effin' same from Knowledge is Power:

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Notorious Whore Nominates Another Kind Of Whore

The most shocking aspect of all? The fact that Max Baucus was named as a Democrat in the very first paragraph.

The key quote.

“Having extensive experience and qualifications in the field, Ms. Hanes was awarded the position based solely on her merit,” he said. “Since then she has excelled in her role. As well as giving Sen. Baucus 'Round The World' and doesn't mind the occasional 'Cleavland Steamer'.”

This might have been played with. A little.

Via Ace and Drudge.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tiger has a lesson for all of us...

We have a Fifth Amendment, and it comes in quite handy.

Tiger Woods has the "right not to incriminate himself" and NOT talk to the police about his accident. He followed that simple directive and received this:

Tiger Woods will be cited for careless driving in a car crash outside his Orlando-area mansion, but will not face criminal charges, the Florida Highway Patrol said Tuesday.

Which was all the police could charge him by the evidence they had. It's $164 and 4 points. A misdemeanor moving violation. For Tiger, that's literally pocket (lint) money, and he's little risk for losing his license.

But what if he would have talked? What would have leaked out of the now public information of his statement, or his wife's?

Let's just say it's better left as speculative tabloid fodder than legal evidence, regardless of the truth - and his marriage is really none of our business, is it?

It's entirely conceivable that no matter what he may have said to the cops, they would have found something more with which to charge him, or his wife. And that's just the legal issues. What about the tabloids?

Smart, Tiger, fucking smart.

That's why this guy below is my fucking hero, just like Tiger.

This is not a Golf lesson, it's a life lesson.

Watch the whole fucking thing, and part 2.

Maryk out.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sara Palin's problem to solve

Toby Harden, in his “giver her a talk show” article hits what I think is an essential truth and problem about a possible Palin candidacy:

This is not snooty elitism – it’s based on the perception that Mrs Palin’s track record is thin and that while she has real star quality her political prescriptions are vague. Sound familiar? That may have worked for Barack Obama in 2008 but Americans are likely to want much more substance next time around.

I believe this is an obstacle she may not be able to overcome by acting as a populist, virtual “backbencher”, as she is currently operating. I say this as a fan – I would vote for her without reservation and will defend her to the ends of the earth against the BS she gets every day.

I think she will be the right person at the wrong time.

A common observation of recent Presidential elections is that, in at least one crucial personality trait or important aspect, The People elect the polar opposite of the current President.

Ford – Carter: Insider – Outsider

Carter – Reagan: Sour defeatism – Sunny optimism.

Reagan – Bush(1): Idealist – Pragmatist.

Bush(1) – Clinton: Staid – Rambunctious.

Clinton – Bush(2): Undisciplined – Disciplined.

Bush(2) – Obama: Stubborn loyalty – “Under the bus”

I’m afraid that the current amateur hour is going to be that crucial aspect. The country won’t want to give a go to another politician with a thin resume (including sadly, her resignation of the Governorship) like the last, regardless of her policy positions and how good we think she would be.

Sorry, no "fuck" in this post. Oh, wait....

Maryk out.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Left Coast Rebel Strikes

I like a little f-bombage that's done with some creativity. Flair. Subtlety. Call me jaded. Call on Left Coast Rebel.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

I Don't Know The Name Of This Game Show

But I'm willing to bet that Meghan McCain is qualified to be a contestant on there.

Thanks to Carlos and his research on his upcoming trip to Italy. He might not be back.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize

What would George Washington think?

Maryk out.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Are Republicans Pussies in General Or Just The Ones In Charge?

It's become obvious that ACORN is corrupt to it's core. And the fucking pussy in charge of the GOP reaches to help ACORN up when they are hanging on a cliff when he needs to be stepping on their fucking fingers.

"The organization has a problem that it needs to deal with, with the Congress. I will say that current head of the organization, she has done a phenomenal job of getting out in front of it. I applaud her. I take her at her word that she wants to work to make sure that the bad apples are thrown out."

Michael Steele
RNC Chairman
September 15, 2009

Gateway Pundit has the audio. Steele goes squish at the 1:32 mark.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

On the topic of hymns

Michelle Malkin has the latest Obama praise hymn. has the all-purpose rebuttal:

Short Hymn

Tune: Traditional

Hymn, hymn,
Fuck hymn. . .

Friday, October 2, 2009

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dog Shit Ice Cream

And here is why I like Mark Steyn, even if he is a goddamn Canuck.

Half a decade or so back, I wrote: “It’s a good basic axiom that if you take a quart of ice-cream and a quart of dog feces and mix ’em together the result will taste more like the latter than the former. That’s the problem with the U.N.”

I think he's a bit wrong, it only takes a tablespoon or so to ruin the whole batch - but then again, it seems more like 8 parts dog shit to 2 parts ice cream at the UN nowadays. And that's why I like Ambassador Bolton - he sees it for the fly-infested pile of crap it is.

And yet, the President sidles up to the soda fountain, takes a big heaping spoonful, and calls it ambrosia.

Bullshit. Or Dog Shit, as it may be.

Maryk out.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

400 F-BOMBS OR LESS 09.24.09

The United Nations Celebrity Roast of America and Israel

Today was apparently the United Nations roast of America and Israel. There was an all star line-up of featured speakers.

First up they went old school with the man with a plan if you wanted some shit blown up in the 80's. He took a little time off after Ronald Reagan dropped a fucking bomb on his pad. Don't kid yourself though, this guy still wants to party like its 1980, its Muammar Qaddaffi! How the fuck are we supposed to spell your name today Gaddafi? I don't want to say Muammar is still a terrorist but hey, did this guy ever, and I mean ever, apologize for the "infidels" he had killed? No, and why the fuck should he, right? What's that Moemer? You still hate America? You support Al Quaeda and wish Obama could be President forever? Well, don't we all? This guy still kills 'em after all these years. Ok Mohammar, time to go, no seriously, get off the fucking stage. Is that an F-14 I hear overhead?

Next up, Hugo Chavez. You all remember Hugo, he recently did an interview on how to indoctrinate school children into socialism. Hugo says the Devil (George W. Bush) was here yesterday and it still smells like sulphur today. Man, you can never hear too many George W. Bush is the fucking Devil/ Hitler jokes can you? The whole U.N. system is worthless? I can't disagree with that Hugee baby. Tell Sean Penn we said kiss our asses.

Now, welcome to the stage, here to apologize for the U.S. of A. and ready to dictate policy to Israel...Barack Hussein Obama. I don't want to say that he's sorry, but man, this mother fucker is sorry, if you know what I mean. Israel, why don't you stop getting in the way of Palestinian bombs and Muslim civilizations eh? No seriously, get the fuck out!

Alright folks, time to take a break. Don't go too far though, the big finish is coming up. See if you can guess which holocaust denier has been given a forum to bash America and threaten Israel. That's right...its that crazy fucking Muslim who wants to blow Israel the fuck up...Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! We apologize to Vladimir Putin, maybe we can get your ass in tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Squirelling away ACORNs

It’s about numbers - not only bringing money in, but people into the organization's orbit. "Organize the unorganized" as it says at the end of their Core Principles. They can use these names and numbers to grow their base.

I’m sure they are paid by their sponsoring groups and various government agencies based upon how many contracts they write. No contracts, no money.

Based upon reporting about their GOTV activities, ACORN itself pays it’s employees almost solely on a commission basis in actual practice, if not in policy. I recall that the registrars were threatened with entire loss of pay for not getting their quota, which led to the extreme and illegal measures their employees took to get those registrations. I would not be surprised if this were the case here, leading to a culture of “get the numbers, I don’t care how or what you have to do or say” sales. And if these poor schmucks fuck up and get caught, they cut them loose without a care and ACORN says “all fixed.”

If all that is true throughout the organization, there truly seems to be an “Animal Farm” culture there. They hook them in with these lofty goals espoused in their Core Principles, yet use those very principles to yoke them to the most depraved of practices they (very) vocally deplore. I wonder how many of them are looking at their leaders and realize they are living those ominous final words of that book:

“No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

Wait - Fox and Friends found one (courtesy of NEWSBUSTERS).

Maryk out.

Friday, September 11, 2009

This guy has some STONES

Big, heavy fucking brass ones.

Those balls you see hanging off of the back of pickup trucks?

They cast the mold from this guy's sack.

Here’s what I have noticed from your coverage: You brought in the damage control crowd to FRAME the story. Before even airing our damning Baltimore video. You know your audience would turn on ACORN if you showed them the evidence. So instead you put your competitors in journalism in the crosshairs instead of airing a blockbuster report making massive waves elsewhere.

You even trotted out shameless Clinton era apologist Joe Conason to challenge the ETHICS of our expose. Unreal.

What about the ethics of those at ACORN caught on tape trying to help create a brothel featuring illegal immigrant age range 13-15 from El Salvador?

And he gets to dictate to CNN just what the fuck is up because he did exactly what they refuse to do - afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.

This guy kicks ass - and our benevolent benefactor Stacy knows his 'ho.

Hoo fuckin' yah.

Maryk out.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The President was HOW late?

15 minutes?

What the fuck? Does he think the rest of us work on HIS schedule?

We have a saying in the Navy, "If you're on time, you're late."

We know there are events that conspire to block the best plans of mice and men. We accommodate with the "five minute rule" - We'll wait five minutes, out of respect and understanding.

After that, it's "Fuck it, if it ain't important to you, it ain't important to me."

Why the hell did Congress stick around sitting on their hands? He scheduled that joint session, you'd think he would have the respect for the legislators to at least be on fucking time.

Compare to the previous President. I have it on very good authority that straying from schedule was the one thing that would irritate President Bush to no end. My source said, “When something went late, for any reason, it was the only time I ever saw him truly upset. He felt that the schedule wasn’t just important to him, but that he didn’t want to have people wasting their time waiting for him.”

This guy? Center of the universe - everything revolves around him. This was a petty power play of the basest sort - your schedule depends on his.

So Senators and Congressmen, how's his ass taste?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I think the proper response to Congressman Baron Hill (D-IN) is...

Fuck you very much, sir.

Maryk out

BREAK: Moe Lane lays it out in the way only he can.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

This is Smitty1e if he were...




In the Army

Living in Missouri

Maryk out.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009

This is fucking awesome

I really fucking hate PETA.

I also really fucking like The Onion.

Because, like us, they don't really give a fuck who you are.

Maryk out.

H/T Feminist law professors

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Dr. Sanity talks shit

Since this blog lacks any focus on stools, we'll forward you.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Zappa to Tea Parties: We've Got to Stick Together

The labor movement's got the Mafia curse

Just One F-Bomb to Qualify

This clip is just pure dude humor, but it has THAT WORD, making this about the only appropriate place to post it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Your next vacation site

Anorak has the story about just the right Austrian town.

Monday, July 27, 2009

How to Get Disqualified from
the Rule 5 BikiniFest Week Contest

As was clearly stated in the contest rules, "No minors." Perhaps there should have been an asterisk also disqualifying adult models posed in "naughty schoolgirl" costumes, you sick freaks.

This afternoon, Smitty called to check in and I mentioned my little jest at Donald Douglas's expense about the Florida guy who lost his job because he married a woman who, in her professional career, is a porn star known as Jazella Moore. This led to a discussion of Donald's "Erin Andrews nude" Google-bomb stunt and the outraged reactions of such lady folk as Cassandra:
Don't get me wrong. I understand the impulse to look. We all have impulses -- often powerful ones -- that conflict with our values. What I don't understand is the cynical decision to repeatedly exploit someone else's misfortune . . .
Well, the impulse to enhance one's blog traffic is surely powerful. It is generally agreed that Donald should not have linked this criminal peephole video. However, as I have tried to point out, if Donald is "repeatedly exploit[ing] someone else's misfortune," is he more guilty than CNN and Howard Kurtz?

This is not to engage in moral relativism, but rather to indicate a serious question: Why can the MSM "respectably" exploit tragedy -- e.g., the death of Princess Di -- and overcrowd the airwaves with ads for Cialis and Levitra and all manner of lurid programming, without any real criticism? And yet if an individual like Donald tries to grab a small slice of this commercialized concupiscence, he is condemned as a vile sub-human pervert. Do the stockholders and executives who earn money from CNN and other MSM behemoths ever have to face the kind of condemnation that Donald Douglas has recently endured?

Understand that I don't mean to defend what the professor did. I merely point out that he is being condemned primarily because he said, "Hey, look, I'm exploiting the prurient interest of porn-Googlers!" rather than adopting the kind of bogus "respectability" porture that leads to Greta Van Susteren standing on a tropical beach telling us about the tragic circumstances surrounding the disappearance of the innocent teenage blonde who was (it is insinuated, though never explicitly stated) viciously raped and forcibly sodomized before being brutally murdered and fed to the sharks.
"Nothing grabs an editor's eye like a good rape."
-- Hunter S. Thompson, Hell's Angels
To condemn only those who engage in exploitation that is purposefully transparent and self-conscious, you see, is to let off the hook all the respectable peddlers of what Thompson condemned as "hired bullshit."

February is "sweeps months" in TV ratings, and a couple years ago, I saw an hour-long Fox News SPECIAL REPORT about the dangers encountered by college student during Spring Break in Daytona Beach, Cabo San Lucas and other resort locations.

Yes, indeed! Until I saw this SPECIAL REPORT, I had no idea what evil could befall beautiful coeds as they run around the beaches and bars, get sloppy drunk, in bikinis, in wet T-shirts and -- sometimes, as extensively documented by this fine team of investigative journalists from Fox News -- in nothing all.

Nice work, if you can get it, eh? While I don't pay much attention to journalism awards -- if the Pulitzer committee insists on overlooking me, I'll return the favor -- I would argue that this Fox News SPECIAL REPORT was one of the most brilliantly conceived projects in the history of television. Imagine the scene as the producer went to his boss to pitch his idea:
BOSS: You want to do what?
PRODUCER: Fly down to Daytona Beach with a camera crew during Spring Break and get a week's worth of footage of 19-year-old girls in bikinis guzzling draft beer and flashing their breasts.
BOSS: And you want me to pay you to do this?
Say what you will about the ethics of this project, but that producer certainly deserves some kind of award for moxie.

Well, this background was not discussed with Smitty. Rather, we discussed Cassandra's thighs -- no, actually, what happened was that mention was made of that classic pinup of the lady whose garter-clad thigh lends a touch of enticing glamour to Villainous Company. Guys dig the stockings-and-garter theme, Cass -- don't go changing.

It seems rather an odd assertion of feminine privilege, however, to say that only ladybloggers can employ pinup glamour as a decorative motif, while guys who display a bit of stocking-clad cheesecake on their blogs are guilty of some horrible evil.

To gain mastery over one's impulses is certainly a worthy goal, especially -- as Smitty and I discussed -- considering the dire warnings from porn expert Ross Douthat:
"Today, the Internet and DirecTV are normalizing everything, from group sex to bestiality to darker things that decency forbids mentioning. And as for pedophilia -- why, any erotic website worth its salt promises links to images of the 'barely legal,' 'young teen sluts,' and all the rest. Today, Nabokov's Humbert would need not be a tragic figure; instead, he could have spent his years ensconced in front of a glowing computer screen, with a thousand Lolitas for his delectation."
We are grateful for Douthat's years of being so "ensconced." Certainly, it took intense research for a college student to develop such a sophisticated understanding of this baleful phenomenon. And as we discussed the attacks on Donald Douglas, the rationale of Rule 5 was defended by reference to Douthat's findings. This discussion I paraphrase from memory:
"What the fiddlesticks? It's just cheesecake. And it's the gosh-darned Internet, for crying out loud! Everybody's just one click away from all the dadgum porn they could ever want."
Indeed, this is the shocking discovery made by Douthat -- and he went to Harvard, you know. Far be it from a mere blogger to attempt such research. But Cassandra is right about those powerful impulses. Some guys can't resist a redhead. Some guys can't resist a chick in black stockings.

Me? I can't resist a joke. So, while this post is certainly disqualified from competition in the Rule 5 BikiniFest, I'm thinking that if Ross Douthat is the sort of person who has a Google Alert for his own name, he's definitely ensconced now. Or he soon will be. Research, Ross, research!

Oh, Smitty has picked the Monday winner! (We're sure Cassandra will approve.)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Operation Renaissance

Just got off the phone with a Democratic source that I'm trying to develop for the IG-Gate story. I've talked about the source I call "Deep Cleavage." This one I'm calling "Renaissance," for reasons that could be explained, but won't.

What I need, my dear friends, is some prayer. Yeah, I know, Effing Conservatives is a strange kind of venue to be asking for prayer, but I didn't want to put this on one of my more common blogging places. Stuff gets around, the Internet is a hard place to keep secrets, and Renaissance doesn't realize how important it is for me to have a trustworthy, confidential source on the Democratic side of this investigation.

"Investigative reporting" is kind of a misnomer, as if it involved something other than regular old-fashioned journalism. Basically, "investigative reporting" involves stuff that important officials don't want publicly known, secretly disclosed to the press by people who know about the stuff.

Nothing is more important to this kind of reporting than trust: The source has to know that the reporter will not (a) report anything that isn't ready to be reported yet, or (b) accidentally identify the source, who might be fired if his identity were discovered.

Sometimes, the source is leaking with permission of his boss, but it's still important to conceal specifically where it's coming from, in order to avoid unwanted consequences. It's easy enough for a conservative reporter to develop Republican sources, but developing a Democratic source . . . like I said, pray.

The reason I'm writing this is kind of as a memo to myself. If Operation Renaissance works out like I hope it will work out, it's going to be beautiful. However, budgetary considerations require that I ask my friends to hit the tip jar. Renaissance wants to go to lunch, and . . . well, in such a situation, a gentleman doesn't want to appear to be a cheapskate.

Charm can be a valuable resource, so if you're reading between the lines, hit the tip jar. And pray.

To quote a line from Toy Story 2: "I'm a married spud! I'm a married spud!"

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Phallus of malice

To paraphrase Carlin:
Our thrust is to prick holes in the stiff front erected by the debt dealers. We must keep mounting an offensive to penetrate any crack in their defenses. Let’s get on them. Let’s ram through a stiff tax law so it will be hard for them to get it up. It’ll be hard on us, but we can’t lick it by being soft!

What an effing suppository.
h/t Bluegrass Pundit

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Things That Make You Say Fuck

Completely off-topic (well, as concerns the political aspect of this site, anyway), but seeing as this is my inaugural post, I reckon that gives me license.

For any fans of The Wire, this clip'll be familiar. For everyone else, watch and learn as it's proven beyond any reasonable doubt that fuck is a more versatile (and just plain better) word than even dude.


Ignore the one or two non-eff-words at the beginning of the video. From 25 seconds on, the scene is nothing but a fuck-fest (in vocabularic terms). This is the benchmark, conveying everything that needs be said through one simple, beautiful word.

And now, please go visit my site.

Because it's fuckin' ace.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Rachel Sklar Says, "See, We Weren't Being Assholes!"

"You know how you can tell we weren't being assholes? Because we, the legacy media, finally got Sarah Palin to quit public life!"


Thursday, July 2, 2009

"Give it some bollocks..."

The new call to Give the Senate Some Balls recalls the Sex Pistols in a clip that doesn't really go anywhere else. Who knew Kermit was such a potty mouth?

Okay. I'm Quitting Estrogen Cold-Turkey.

Because if I'm happy and horny, no one fucking posts here. Not really. You want a vibrant conservative/libertarian movement?—well, then: you'll pray for lots of PMS among the anti-Statist females.

I'm not denigrating men, and I'm not suggesting that women are the sole driving force of civilization. I'm merely pointing out that the smart money isn't supporting those who get in our way.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Day by Day knows what we're on about

01Jul09 features a right-effing-on British Government Proxy.

Other People Who Should Shut the Fuck Up . . .

would include Joe Biden, who proves that it takes more than a village to sponsor some idiots—sometimes a whole fuckin' country, or an entire goddamned world—and makes us really fuckin' miss Dan Quayle.

And then, there are the fuckin' Sanfords—worse, the not-so-fucking Sanfords—who should just go into sex counseling for crying out loud: I like a good Bible study group as much as the next girl, but on a certain D.H. Lawrence level, one has to strengthen the earthier sides of the marriage vow as well as exercising one's spiritual muscles. Less Bible, more Kegel. LIfe requires balance, kids: open your flies (with each other). And close both of your fucking traps.

Yeah, right: "I don't have sex with my husband any more, but I'm a fucking victim!" Good for you, for not being co-dependent. Now shut up.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Oh, And: Fuck You, Canada.

I don't mean the people in Canada, some of whom are the good kind of effable. I mean Canada itself. Take it away, Russ from the AoS HQ:

You know why I'm touchy about this subject? About 16 months ago, my son Moses came into this world 6 weeks before his due date. He spent his first 19 days in a NICU bed in Des Moines, Iowa. In all the talk about what to do about the early delivery, I don't remember ANYONE suggesting "Hey, lets see if there are any beds available in a Canadian hospital, so that Big Mo can enjoy some of that free health care". The doctors and nurses (especially the nurses, who were AWESOME) who took care of Moses in the American system gave us the best care possible....and it was worth every damn dollar they got from our insurance company. For this Maple-flavored third-world douchebag to belittle the American health care system, he's got to belittle the parts of the system that I know for a fact are far from broken, and that shit ain't right. I take any attack, no matter how oblique and nuanced, on the people who care for premature babies in the Greatest Health Care System on The Planet personally. That's just how I roll, baby.

Canada, you're dead to me. I used to defend you back in the day. Hell, I used to say "Yeah, but Brian Adams ROCKED when he opened for Journey in '82!" and "Hockey is an underappreciated team sport", but now I'm through. For every Jim Carrey, you give me two Celine Dions - and you complain about the health care security blanket we provide for your citizens. I'm calling you out, hosers. Come correct with the apologies, or we'll finish the job we should have done in 1816 and offer American statehood to your Western Provinces, which are filled with manly men & comely women who still understand the value of a hard day's work.

Its not like I've got to worry about Canada actually coming after me & kicking my ass. Shit, Canada couldn't even defend itself against an attack from the Icelandic National Guard. Besides, Canadians don't respond violently to insults and abuse heaped upon them. We learned that back in 1776. They just say "Yes Daddy" to whichever Country is pulling the Gravy Train for their freeloading asses . . . .

To me, he sounds slightly fucking irritated.

Looks Like the Wrong Fucking Jackson

. . .  fucking died. Hey, Joe-the-Ho: when they ask you to comment on your son's death, they want to see tears and hear "we're sad," or some other nice lie. 

If you can't do those two things, shut the fuck up.

In the effing gym today

...I had the displeasure of taking in about an hour of CNN. WTF! I so wanted to come through the screen an muster on "dismal failure in Iraq" McCaffrey. Your opinions are so completely spineless, dude.

Then they had some crap about celebrity deaths that was completely forgettable.

What's driving my post is the cretinous boot-licking about President Hopium's Iran policy. They trotted out some polls showing only about a third of Americans disapprove of our current study in spinelessness. Wow, did your oversampling butts make it across the Hudson, and ask any real Americans in flyover country?

The Flagrant, Unrelenting, Callous, Knowlege-free Ignoramus Named Gergen and and equally nauseating Candy Crowley got on there and tried to talk around the fact that the current administration demonstrates a fawning appreciation for dictatorial thugs, Iran in this case (but the pattern repeats for Venezuela, Honduras, North Korea, etc.) that borders on the...kinky. Crowley was saying words similar to "It's so hard to tell what's really going on in Iran, what with all of these pixelated photos..."

Had I a magic wand, how satisfying it would be to whisk your have-missed-a-meal-lately self off to Tehran, for some actual reporting. You know very well it's a war zone there, yet you sit back and wax loquacious about the sad ambiguities involved. Dis-effing-gusting, all of you hacks and sophists.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

"Done Well"

What the hell. It's a good thing you lost your chance to be President, Senator McCain(Surprisingly, an R, Media). If you can't or are unwilling to see how Pres. Obama is doing, then maybe you should ride off into the sunset of obscurity.

  • Quadrupling the deficit.
  • Nationalizing banks and car manufactures.
  • The firing and smearing IG Walpin (as well as others).
  • The Commander-In-Chief bowing to a Saudi King.

That's for starters.

With your attitude toward the President, do you wonder why the Republicans in Congress are is a super minority status? Many of your ideas from your campaign were not that different from that young, hip guy you were running against. Have the government buy back toxic mortgages? Barack was the Coca-Cola. You were the Diet Value-Rite Soda.

You can't figure out how to oppose the message of the Democrat Party? You deserve to be voted out on your ass and let someone else be elected into the Senate who can formulate a conservative message. What the fuck good are you if you can't figure out how to verbalize the damage Obama is doing to the country? You give speeches for a living, dammit. You have aides, paralegals and interns all at your beck and call in your office. With their collective think tank, they can't give you a 3 x 5 note card with a few bullet points on it as to the shitty job Obama is doing?

Whatever service you have done for the country while in the Navy is, at best, a wash by your disservice as a Congressman.

Thanks to someone on Twitter for the link.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Strung Out Starlet Showing The Latest In Ankle Monitor Accessories

Thought it was time for an updated photo of The Conservatives Who Say Fuck's mascot, Lindsay Lohan.

Even after the numerous stints in rehab, she's still looking good in her bikini and, er, ankle bracelet.

Thanks for The Jawa Report for finding the photo.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Frequently, Unfoseen Conditions acKnowledged
Unanimously Can sparK Friction,
Causing blacK Fumes Undulating,
uncorKing Furious, Unyielding Chaos.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Hey! Mike Kinsley! STFU!

Hey there Mr. off-key Michael Kinsley! Yeah! I'm talking to you. I just read your last column in the Washington Post. Yeah. I read the whole fucking thing. Now I'm telling you to shut the fuck up about the Star Spangled Banner.

It must be a pretty fucking slow news day for you to choose to write a whole column about how our national anthem is pretty much unsingable (in your fucking opinion). I have never heard you sing the Star Spangled Banner. But I bet you mutter along as best you can. Can I sing all the high notes? Nope. Do I try? Yup. Every fucking time. It is the national anthem after all.

I suppose I should lay out some of my beefs with your column. First off, the only portion of the poem "The Star Spangled Banner" that is the national anthem is the first stanza. All the subsequent stanzas (including the penultimate verse you reference) are part of the poem but not part of the anthem. You apparently aren't up to speed on that one.

Secondly, the songs you suggest as possible replacements are, for the most part, whimpy tunes that lamely describe the physical beauty of our nation. This is not to say that our nation isn't physically beautiful. It most surely is. But pretty much every country in the world has a song (or two) about how beautiful their fucking country is. Why would we want to lump ourselves in with everyone else on the fucking planet?

Thirdly, the only vaugely acceptable song of the ones you mentioned as a replacement is the "Battle Hymn of the Republic." I was born and raised in Virginia. I love the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I wouldn't mind all three verses being made into the National Anthem.

Lastly, I realize you are a liberal guy and all... So I can understand why you don't like the military or religious overtones of the Star Spangled Banner (and Battle Hymn of the Republic). And furthermore, I suppose your liberalism (like President Obama's) is the driving force behind this crusade against the Star Spangled Banner. You want to make it easier for people. Just like many of your positions and policies that purport to make life "easier" they really are just making people fucking soft.

Riddle me this? Do you know why we sing the Star Spangled Banner? Because it is hard. And last time I checked real Americans do things not because they are easy; but because they hard.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuckety fucking fuck.

A national fucking sales tax? A fucking White House Office of Social Innovation? Supreme Court Justice Sotomayer? China shorting fucking T-bills? An economy losing 16,000 jobs a day since February?

When the fuck did I die, and what the fuck did I do wrong, to wake up in this fucking Orwellian hell? I wouldn't wish this hell on Charles Fucking Manson.


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Fuck Fred Malek

You want to know what's wrong with the Republican Party? Three words. Fred Fucking Malek:
Fred Malek, a heavyweight Republican fundraiser and kingmaker, has singled out former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney as the GOP’s leading contender in the early stages of the 2012 Republican presidential derby.
In a largely unnoticed post to his blog late last week, Malek, a wealthy businessman who served as national finance co-chair of John McCain's 2008 presidential campaign, ranked Romney No. 1 on a list of influential Republicans "who might both lead our party back and who might be our nominee in 2012."
Given that fucking Fred Malek backed The Fucking Loser, his endorsement is the kiss of death to Romney 2012, as far as I'm concerned. And notice at No. 5 on Fucking Fred's list his praise for "emerging GOP Senate candidates in blue states," including Charlie Fucking Crist.

These idiot "heavyweight Republican kingmakers" couldn't buy a clue if you gave 'em a 50% discount.

Headline in the Washington Post:
Fred Malek's Career Spans Nixon to McCain
Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Our civic duty to Meghan McCain

While I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, I've just figgered out why Meghan McCain has been so accommodating to the Log Cabin Boyz: she's never been around a real man.

While I'm not much into psychobabble, a strong masculine paternal influence is important to the development of any child.

Meghan grew up watching her dad suck off liberal dicks. One of her earlier influences was watching her dad choke on a big mouthful of Russ Feingold. Her dad also seemed to enjoy Ted Kennedy's throaty, whiskey flavor.

"I have a lot of respect for Sen. Specter," Meghan recently wrote in an article where she was unable to either swallow or spit out the obvious words "RINO no more."

Instead of criticizing poor Meghan, we should realize that she had no control over her environment as a child and we should (it's our civic duty) do what we can to help her out now that she's an adult.

In the spirit of social responsibility, I'm rendering my services to help poor Meghan out. I'm offering a weekend in my backwoods cabin to tutor Ms. McCain in the subject of real men. Out of respect for her busy schedule, this will be a total immersion course where we will begin by immediately tackling hardcore conservative issues.

Meghan sez that the GOP is clueless about sex. I'd like to see her put her money where her mouth is. Or her mouth where...

Meghan honey, just leave a comment or trackback below so we can start the process of setting up this date. Weekends are pretty good for me, but I can talk the boss into a couple of days off for a cause such as this. I can promise that you'll be walking away from the weekend a bit gingerly, but with a deeper appreciation of issues like the first and second amendments. I can promise that when you talk about "dick" in the future, your mind won't be on Cheney or the Log Cabin Boyz.

BTW, if you are really that into the gay thang, it shouldn't prove too difficult to have another couple of women available. If you plan on wearing a skirt on your next televised appearance, you may wish to bring a pair of kneepads, too. I'm sure your dad has plenty of extras on hand.

Effing RINOs

Here's an effing conservative who makes even effing conservatives want to say WTF. The short story is that Alabama Senator Hank Erwin wants to keep beer enthusiasts in the state from being able to drink 98 of the world's 100 best beers.

Erwin has also received national publicity for blaming Hurricane Katrina on the effing sins of folks living near the Gulf Coast. Erwin also initially co-sponsored Governor Riley's major tax increase plan.

The last time I checked, Jesus turned freaking water into wine, but Erwin seems to be hellbent on ensuring that no one in Alabama is able to enjoy some of God's more enjoyable creations.

When at war, one generally respects the enemy and treats him well in a P.O.W. camp. When Obama and the Dems try to lift my wallet, I get pissed. But it's their nature, and they proudly wear their Marxist uniforms.

When a so-called Republican tries to lift my wallet and steal my beer, I take special eff-words out of reserve to use on this lowest form of vermin. A tax-loving, beer-hating Republican is a traitor, similar to Benedict Arnold and Arlen Specter. The last time I checked, treason is still a shooting-squad offense.

Friday, May 8, 2009


From Matthew 21:18-22 (King James Version)

For those conservatives who have issues swearing.

18Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.

19And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.

20And when the disciples saw it, they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!

21Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

I tried not to parse the passage by taking it out of context. But I think it's pretty clear what happened. A time for everything under the sun.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Media Cheering For Al Fucking Franken

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Donald Douglas on blogging

The professor has some good advice for newbies and other small independent bloggers, and I say that not only because he links me, but also because it's good advice. I especially like what Donald says here:
[P]olitical science research indicates that there's a tremendous "gatekeeper" effect to the blogoshere, since by nature of "network" effects and hierarchies of prestige, blogging newcomers find tremendously high barriers to entry to a successful (and possibly materially lucrative) blogging career . . .
Don't kid yourself that you're going to become the next Michelle Malkin after publishing a couple of week's worth of Blogspot essays; and don't expect to make a fortune anytime soon. I've been blogging for three years, and I still average less than 1000 hits a day. I get thousands of visitors on some days, but that's often because Michelle or Glenn Reynolds has thrown traffic my way. It takes a long time to get noticed, and that's often after you've networked and made connections. My sense is that someone who works hard and puts out consistently good content will develop a readership.
These are related points. Three or four years ago, I read an article that said the blogosphere had ossified to the point that the early arrivals -- those who had locked in big readerships circa 2002-2003, when blogs were first becoming popular -- were destined to dominate forever. Thus, there no prospect of someone starting a blog in 2005 or 2006 and reaching the top.

Well, "can't never could," as my father used to say. If you believe you can't reach the top, then you most certainly won't reach the top. But however high you aim, you risk demoralization if you become so impatient for big success that you aren't willing to take encouragement from small successes.

Five years ago, it seemed as if anyone could start a blog on Tuesday and land a book contract by Friday. That was never really the case, but it at least once seemed that blogging was an easy way to success. Now, everyone admits that success is difficult so, as the professor says, don't kid yourself. Still, persistence and a willingness to learn can still take you a long way. I've tried to focus on readership growth: Week-to-week, month-to-month, steadily increasing traffic.

Professor Douglas also quotes John Hawkins' article, "How to Become a Full Time Conservative Blogger/Columnist," which I highly recommend. Something that John Hawkins has pointed out elsewhere is the value of cross-posting. I now have cross-posting privileges at Right Wing News, AmSpecBlog, Taki's Magazine and the Hot Air Green Room. So that's five different blogs, counting this one (plus whatever other freelance writing, editing and consulting work I can scare up) and the value is that each of those blogs has a different readership. There are lots of online political forums where you can highlight your writing/blogging, and if you've got a few "blog buddies" who want to join you to create a group blog, that's another venue.

The value of "blog buddies" can't be overstated. If a newbie can find two or three small- to medium-sized bloggers with whom to share Rule 2 (reciprocal linkage) and communicate via e-mail, that's the basis of a small network that can then be expanded to reach a wider and wider readership. Also, take advantage of any possible opportunity to meet your fellow bloggers face-to-face offline. The fellowship of a real-world acquaintance helps ease the feeling of isolation that bloggers often have to deal with.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fuck the Homeless

Nice weather came back to tease us in DC this weekend. I was psyched. I mean, I'm not too thrilled about the sunburn I got, yesterday. What can you do, though? Use sunscreen, I suppose.

Today on my travels out into the District, I was reminded of the thing I hate most about summers in our nation's capital. Surprisingly, it's not tourists. I would have thought that was it.

It's these fucking "homeless" people. I don't even believe most of them are homeless. If you don't smell like urine and are dressed better than me, I don't believe that you're fucking homeless. And, even if you are, I don't care. Stop asking me for change.

Don't sit outside of a McDonalds that is hiring asking me for money. Walk your ass inside and fill out an application. I didn't work eight hours a day for five days out of the past seven so I can give you money for sitting outside a fast food joint and guilting me out of it.

Also, once I've ignored you or told you no, don't say "God bless you!" Fuck you! I know what you're doing. I'm sure it typically works. I don't owe you, though, and I'm not giving you shit. Get a real fucking job and leave me the fuck alone! I may not be able to stop the government from taking my money and giving it to undeserving people, but I can certainly stop you. You lazy, piece of shit, asshole.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Two for Tea!

My college buddies Robin and Larry Nee at the Tax Day Tea Party in Tullahoma, Tennessee, where the crowd was exactly 628 according to Lynn Seaborn, who counted heads in a panoramic photo of the protest.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Car Kickback Czar

Rahm Emanuel: What da f**k, Steve? Da boss puts yez in charge a’ bailin’ out da auto industry, an’ now it comes out dat youse are bein’ investigated for kickbacks. No, really, Steve, I mean, what da f**k?!?

Steven Rattner: Awww, da boss knew about da whole ting. He didn’t tink it was such a big deal, why should youse?

David Axelrod: Look, I don’t remember nuttin’ about youse ‘fessin’ up to da boss about dis.

Steve: Oh, yeh, he hadda knew all about it, ‘cause I mentioned it durin’ da transition. He didn’t say nuttin’ but “Hey, don’t sweat it, everyt’ing’s jake.”

Emanuel: Ok, Car Guy, what’s yer plan for da automotive industry?

Steve: Hey, listen to dis, it’s a lu-lu! I told dem banks what Chrysler owes money to, to tear up dem IOUs.

Axelrod: Ya mean, like, Chrysler jus' skips? It don't pay nuttin'at all?

Steve: Yeh. Dat way, da banks what we gave money to kinda help pay for us bailin’ out Chrysler, see?

Emanuel: But dat way, da banks are in da hole again.

Steve: Huh. I hadn’t thunk a ‘dat.

Emanuel: Ya know what, Steve. I tink maybe we oughta take a little ride.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Speed Limits Suck

I spent a few days on the road last week going to Michigan. Why are the fucking speed limits so slow out east when you can drive as fucking fast as you can the more you travel out west?

It's only 6 fucking 5 in Virginia. Do you know how slow 6 fucking 5 feels after driving 85 in Wyoming (I was speeding there too, 75 is the limit)? It's like trying to run in a dream. Your legs are running but you are not getting anywhere. The limit is more reasonable in Michigan than in Virginia, 7 fucking 0. With almost impunity if you speed up to 75 (Until the end of the month when the highway patrol needs to fill their ticket quota).

Fuck you if you say 'unsafe in any speed'. I want to get where I'm going, fast. And fuck that 'journey, not the destination' bullshit. If I wanted a journey, I will take one when the time is right. Confucius never had to travel with little kids.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

UMD Porno update

I wanted to take a moment to follow-up on the article I posted last week in which I asked what the fuck was up with UMD and the Maryland Legislature concerning the screening of a porn flick at the main UMD campus.

Well... UMD students have given a half-hearted cry of "Fuck you!" to the legislature. They showed a portion of the porn film at the heart of this matter in the student union. They had a panel discussion on the First Amendment and pornography.

Then the students attending the showing/rally/discussion decided to say fuck this and go and watch the NCAA championship game on TV.

Way to fucking go UMD students.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


What the fuck was that about?

(Thanks for the clip, Jana)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

"Fook You, Mr. Plesident!"

I know it sounds incredible, but even though "Obama warned Friday [it] would be a 'provocative' act", Li'l Kim launched his rocket anyway. Maybe if the president sent him a peace offering - say, a DVD of Pork Chop Hill - he could get Bouffant Boy to play nice. Of course, Obama would have to take time out from bashing America, but, all things considered, I think it would be a decent trade-off.

Stop telling people what to think, you fucking liberal asshole

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Anonymous Liberal. Godwin's Law be damned, you're a goddamned goose-stepping Gestapo gauleiter. Stop telling me what to think and then acting like I'm too stupid to notice.

Fuck you very much.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Fuck these stupid tolls!

So, I drove up to Connecticut, last night, from DC. Now, I'm used to being told to bend over if I make the mistake of driving through NYC because I have to pay a ridiculous amount for the privilege of driving over the George Washington Bridge, but now every state seems to be tapping me for more and more of my money just to use the roads. It costs four dollars to go over the fucking Tappan Zee Bridge (in New York state) when half of the lanes are blocked off?

Now, I get it. Roads and maintenance all cost money. And, to be honest, I don't have a problem with paying to use a roadway or bridge. What really pisses me off is that I am paying twice. The federal government is already stealing taxes from me to give to you for these infrastructure projects. Then, I have to pay you again at each booth?

Plus, most of them have doubled since the last time I took the ride (in July 08). And, finally, I have to fucking slow down and come to a complete stop to pay the moron in the booth who is so busy reading a newspaper they can't be bothered to offer me immediate assistance.

Considering that last part, isn't their some global warming argument to be made for getting rid of these booths all together? I mean, I paid more in tolls last night than I did for gas. Something isn't right, here.

WTF Is Wrong With Jon Stewart?

Daily Show Full Episodes

Let me get this straight.

Rush Limbaugh is leaving NYC. Selling his condo, leaving his studio and relocating somewhere else. In the mean time, the people he employed at his condo, his studio and elsewhere are out of a job. Restaurants, and anyone else who depended on Rush as a customer are out that much money due to his lack of patronage. The multimillionaire is leaving town and taking his spending money with him.

And Jon Steward says “Finally”?

What an fucking douche.

Video clip from Hot Air because I don't watch The Fucking Daily Show.

Skin flicks on campus? Not at UMD.

What the fuck is happening at the University of Maryland? They had arranged for the most expensive porn movie ever made (Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge) to be shown at the student union - but now it is canceled. Why? Because the Maryland State Senate hastily past a budget amendment that would cause state colleges and universities to forfeit public funds if they show porn movies on campus.

Hundreds of ticket holding students are likely finding this out now and saying "Fuck."

Regardless of your stance on pornography, this seems to be a bit excessive on the part of the state Senate. Threatening to cut off funding for the offense of showing a porn movie on campus? Are they going to start sending auditors through the dorms to make sure no porns are being shown in dorm rooms? Are they going to monitor campus internet usage to make sure there is no porn being downloaded? It isn't like the movie was being paid for by the university - it was entirely financed through ticket sales. (Tickets paid for by students who wanted to see the show.)

Perhaps the Maryland Senate should lighten the fuck up.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

WTF Kind of American is This Guy?

We must surely be reaching the point where any person possessing at least a modicum of reason and education (and intellectual honesty) has to admit, even if only to himself, that Barack Obama’s view of America - past, present and future – is utterly alien to the view of our country held by a majority of our own citizens (including many who voted for Obama). Every key position, every key decision - the hostility to capitalism, the mortgaging of our future via huge budget deficits, the Edith Bunker school of witless and non-discriminating niceness applied to foreign policy, the appointees in the Department of Justice (!) who have no respect for the law, the permanent campaigning, the advocacy of “Al-pocalypse” environmental theories – reveals Obama’s contempt for America and its traditions of individual liberty and limited government.

I am not a “birth certificate truther”; I am perfectly willing to accept that Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen. However, with respect to his thoughts and his philosophy and his worldview, he might as well have been born in Sweden or Venezuela or Chad. Never have I seen a president over whom the history – the reality - of America has washed to so little effect. To Obama, the United States is not a country with over 230 years of organic political development that, partly through trial and error and partly through adherence to right reason and the lessons of history, has created a society that is the envy of the world. It is just a great, blank blackboard on which he can chalk his sophomoric wish list.

Many still say, “Give him a chance.” The electorate gave him his chance more than four months ago, and in that short time he has squandered it almost irredeemably. The most charitable thing we can do – not only for our country’s sake, but for the president’s – is to criticize Obama relentlessly when he is wrong, in the hope that he will see the dangerous folly of his policies. And if he does not alter his course, then that criticism will lay the foundation for his ultimate removal at the ballot box.

I have quoted this line from Auberon Waugh before, but it bears repeating: “There are countless horrible things happening all over the country, and horrible people prospering but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible.” In this time of political insanity, that shall be our motto.

Fucking Barbaric

Only someone in the fucking Democrat Party can use their time in the KKK as a career builder.

Bull market? You're fucking kidding me

Anybody who thinks the market has hit bottom -- that we've dropped as far as we're going to drop and it's all up from here -- out of their fucking mind, says David Rosenberg of Merrill Lynch.

Basically, we're fucked like an NFL cheerleader who accidently wandered into a Hell's Angels convention. Like Andrew Sullivan after two nights in San Francisco. Like a Harvard graduate during his first week in prison.

We're so fucked, in other words, we're not going to be able walk tomorrow, and anybody who tells you different is a lying fuckwad.

Fuck You, Romney Lover

So, I recently posted a blog telling Mitt Romney to shut up, not that I have anything against the guy.

Nate G., from, doesn't seem to agree with me:

I think you should understand first what Mitt is saying. He is not in anyway saying that we should support radical anti-American and anti-Republican ideals. He is saying give credit when, and only when, it is due.

Did he not give thick criticism for Obama’s socialistic agendas? Did he not say previously that he hope that Obama’s liberal policies fail, only because they will be bad for America?

Should we be glad that Obama is seeing the light on Afganistan and is finally taking a hardline with Detroit? I think so, because its the right thing. Or should we want to him to continue to make the wrong decisions because we want him to fail because he’s a Democrat?

Essentially Mitt is saying that we need to separate the policy from the individual or political party. Is the policy good? If yes, than we should root for it. Should a good policy fail because it’s from a (bad) person? No. The policy is the most important. Well spoken by a true grown-up.

I would recommend listening to what he’s really saying instead of tell him to shut up.

Like I fucking care?

I didn't hear the fullness of what Romney had to say at the event. I can only go on what was reported. And, reportedly, he said we should praise Obama when he succeeds. There were no qualifiers reported that Romney thought we should only praise Obama when he succeeds at doing things we agree with. But, even if he did qualify the statement, I don't fucking care.

Fuck Mitt Romney and fuck Nate G.

Does Lisa Miller have a fucking bee in her bonnet?

What the fuck is up with Lisa Miller at the Washington Post? She doesn't understand why Sarah Palin would want to pray with someone before the Vice-Presidential debate. How about this explanation: She wanted to gain comfort and strength from a style of prayer that she had gained comfort and strength from in the past.

And who the fuck is the "us" in Miller's opening line? The one that goes "Sarah Palin, God love her, never lets us down." What the fuck is up with that?

Of course I don't know what is worse... Miller's original question or some of the fucking replies it has elicited.

Our Hero: Douglas Fucking Henry

He explains why you shouldn't Twitter while driving:

Dahlia Fucking Lithwick

She's such a fucking hypocrite. (H/T: William Fucking Jacobson.)

What Else Is In His Closet?

Can the world really respect a man whose chief of staff wears a fucking tutu?

Dear Richard: WTF?

Dude, I'm sure there is a perfectly legitimate reason why your Picasa photo album includes this vintage picture of Betty Page getting spanked with a hairbrush:

But I'm sure everyone else would like to hear the explanation.

Does James Fucking Joyner know what the fuck he's talking about?

He's got some shit up about how Twitter is going to kill the blogosphere. Which is totally fucked up, IMFO, but what the fuck do you think?

WTF is with the NYT?

(Via Ed Fucking Morrissey.)

A brief explanation of who we are

This is one of those ideas whose beautiful fucking simplicity makes you wonder why the fuck no one ever thought of it before.

We are conservative bloggers who say, "fuck." Maybe we don't say "fuck" on our own blogs, because our families and people at our churches read that shit. But we don't think we're going to roast in hell for all eternity because occasionally we see something in the headlines that causes us to say, "What the fuck?" Nor do we believe we're totally fucked up just because we like to see some sweet C-cup rackage every once in a while.

We are The Conservatives Who Say Fuck, proudly so, and if you don't like it, fuck you.