Chris Matthews Performs His Own Version Of "Jizz In My Pants"

His eyes look at the TV screen
That lets me make up what that means.
His baritone voice echos, "yes we can"
And I'm one of the few that understands.
I'm transported onto his Greek stage
The colors in my head are in a rage.
He looks at me without me needing to beg
He says my name and tingles shoot down my leg
and I

Jizz in my pants

This would never of happened to Olbermann.
What set if off was the crease in his slacks
Next time we talk I'll be sure to first jack.

And now I

Jizz in my pants

Don't say anything, I want this to be my lede.
It's attention like this is what I need.
With my ratings, I'll take what I can get.

Now I’ll go to my room and change

I need a few things for a story clip
Editing video, looking for a place to snip.
Another speech of yours appeared on screen
The warm feeling flushed and I screamed.
This isn't like me when I worked for Carter
His sweater vest never made me hotter
Something about your baritone voice
Makes my boy parts go all moist.

And I

Jizzed in my pants

It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
I'm going to need a clean up in the NBC lobby
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance because I

Jizzed in my pants

To be fair you were talking a lot
Plus your delivery got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you’re not impressed

All your speeches are on my iPod
Ready to watch when I want to shoot my wad
I wonder if the same thing happens to Maddow
And I

Jizzed in my pants


Last week – I saw the crease
In your pants that David Brooks told me about
I was hoping to touch the hem of your pants leg
When I

Jizzed in my pants

At the National Press Club Dinner,
I was invited to attend.
I saw the Secret Service usher you in
and I

Jizz in my pants

Mika Brzezinski said something about you and I

Jizz in my pants

Passed operational control over to NATO and I

Jizz in my pants

When you bow to foreign dignitaries I

Jizzed in my pants

ObamaCare was passed and I...

Jizzed… in… my pants

Jizzed… in… my pants

Ok seriously you guys can we… ok…

I jizz right in my pants every time you’re next to me
And when you're on TV it’s like having sex with me
You say I’m premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber on 'Hardball' now, it’s a necessity

Cuz I

Jizz… in… my pants

(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants
Yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz… in… my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)