Two for Tea!

My college buddies Robin and Larry Nee at the Tax Day Tea Party in Tullahoma, Tennessee, where the crowd was exactly 628 according to Lynn Seaborn, who counted heads in a panoramic photo of the protest.

Car Kickback Czar

Rahm Emanuel: What da f**k, Steve? Da boss puts yez in charge a’ bailin’ out da auto industry, an’ now it comes out dat youse are bein’ investigated for kickbacks. No, really, Steve, I mean, what da f**k?!?

Steven Rattner: Awww, da boss knew about da whole ting. He didn’t tink it was such a big deal, why should youse?

David Axelrod: Look, I don’t remember nuttin’ about youse ‘fessin’ up to da boss about dis.

Steve: Oh, yeh, he hadda knew all about it, ‘cause I mentioned it durin’ da transition. He didn’t say nuttin’ but “Hey, don’t sweat it, everyt’ing’s jake.”

Emanuel: Ok, Car Guy, what’s yer plan for da automotive industry?

Steve: Hey, listen to dis, it’s a lu-lu! I told dem banks what Chrysler owes money to, to tear up dem IOUs.

Axelrod: Ya mean, like, Chrysler jus' skips? It don't pay nuttin'at all?

Steve: Yeh. Dat way, da banks what we gave money to kinda help pay for us bailin’ out Chrysler, see?

Emanuel: But dat way, da banks are in da hole again.

Steve: Huh. I hadn’t thunk a ‘dat.

Emanuel: Ya know what, Steve. I tink maybe we oughta take a little ride.

Speed Limits Suck

I spent a few days on the road last week going to Michigan. Why are the fucking speed limits so slow out east when you can drive as fucking fast as you can the more you travel out west?

It's only 6 fucking 5 in Virginia. Do you know how slow 6 fucking 5 feels after driving 85 in Wyoming (I was speeding there too, 75 is the limit)? It's like trying to run in a dream. Your legs are running but you are not getting anywhere. The limit is more reasonable in Michigan than in Virginia, 7 fucking 0. With almost impunity if you speed up to 75 (Until the end of the month when the highway patrol needs to fill their ticket quota).

Fuck you if you say 'unsafe in any speed'. I want to get where I'm going, fast. And fuck that 'journey, not the destination' bullshit. If I wanted a journey, I will take one when the time is right. Confucius never had to travel with little kids.

UMD Porno update

I wanted to take a moment to follow-up on the article I posted last week in which I asked what the fuck was up with UMD and the Maryland Legislature concerning the screening of a porn flick at the main UMD campus.

Well... UMD students have given a half-hearted cry of "Fuck you!" to the legislature. They showed a portion of the porn film at the heart of this matter in the student union. They had a panel discussion on the First Amendment and pornography.

Then the students attending the showing/rally/discussion decided to say fuck this and go and watch the NCAA championship game on TV.

Way to fucking go UMD students.

Really?

What the fuck was that about?

(Thanks for the clip, Jana)

"Fook You, Mr. Plesident!"

I know it sounds incredible, but even though "Obama warned Friday [it] would be a 'provocative' act", Li'l Kim launched his rocket anyway. Maybe if the president sent him a peace offering - say, a DVD of Pork Chop Hill - he could get Bouffant Boy to play nice. Of course, Obama would have to take time out from bashing America, but, all things considered, I think it would be a decent trade-off.

Stop telling people what to think, you fucking liberal asshole

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Anonymous Liberal. Godwin's Law be damned, you're a goddamned goose-stepping Gestapo gauleiter. Stop telling me what to think and then acting like I'm too stupid to notice.

Fuck you very much.