Taco Bell

Via Gerard

Because I Hate You All So Much

At about the 14 second mark.



But it's for a good cause.

Chris Matthews Performs His Own Version Of "Jizz In My Pants"

His eyes look at the TV screen
That lets me make up what that means.
His baritone voice echos, "yes we can"
And I'm one of the few that understands.
I'm transported onto his Greek stage
The colors in my head are in a rage.
He looks at me without me needing to beg
He says my name and tingles shoot down my leg
and I

Jizz in my pants

This would never of happened to Olbermann.
What set if off was the crease in his slacks
Next time we talk I'll be sure to first jack.

And now I

Jizz in my pants

Don't say anything, I want this to be my lede.
It's attention like this is what I need.
With my ratings, I'll take what I can get.

Now I’ll go to my room and change

I need a few things for a story clip
Editing video, looking for a place to snip.
Another speech of yours appeared on screen
The warm feeling flushed and I screamed.
This isn't like me when I worked for Carter
His sweater vest never made me hotter
Something about your baritone voice
Makes my boy parts go all moist.

And I

Jizzed in my pants

It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
I'm going to need a clean up in the NBC lobby
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance because I

Jizzed in my pants

To be fair you were talking a lot
Plus your delivery got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you’re not impressed

All your speeches are on my iPod
Ready to watch when I want to shoot my wad
I wonder if the same thing happens to Maddow
And I

Jizzed in my pants


Last week – I saw the crease
In your pants that David Brooks told me about
I was hoping to touch the hem of your pants leg
When I

Jizzed in my pants

At the National Press Club Dinner,
I was invited to attend.
I saw the Secret Service usher you in
and I

Jizz in my pants

Mika Brzezinski said something about you and I

Jizz in my pants

Passed operational control over to NATO and I

Jizz in my pants

When you bow to foreign dignitaries I

Jizzed in my pants

ObamaCare was passed and I...

Jizzed… in… my pants

Jizzed… in… my pants

Ok seriously you guys can we… ok…

I jizz right in my pants every time you’re next to me
And when you're on TV it’s like having sex with me
You say I’m premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber on 'Hardball' now, it’s a necessity

Cuz I

Jizz… in… my pants

(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants
Yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz… in… my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)

Danzig Has Another Brick On The Effin' Lawn

Heh.

Missing Missile Missive

by Smitty

The left coast missile surprise has dominated the news of the day.
We can now reveal the truth. That wasn't just any missile; it was a King Missile:

What Does Dick Blumenthal And The Pedophile From The Movie, Happiness Have In Common?

Other than they look like they could have been separated at birth?

First, here's Dick:



Contrast with the pedophile from the movie, Happiness.

WARNING: You may need to wash your soul after viewing this clip. It's disturbing.

The physical similarity between the two men is eerie.

Except Blumenthal is edging out in front with the creepiness factor.

Obama’s “Hope-A-Dope” Nation

With two years left in his term, the errand boy sent by grocery clerks presides over a nation in deep and ever-growing trouble.

Through his propaganda of carefully crafted, semi-divine, yet vague and appealing buzzwords, Fearless Reader won the public's support. Now, his cult is crumbling.

Washington seeks to extend our dependence on government in perpetuity. A record forty-two million Americans are on food stamps. That's an 18% jump from 2009 and 1.4% from June 2010.

Political scientist William Voegeli's new book, "Never Enough: America's Limitless Welfare State" notes, "Liberals don't want the government to grow indefinitely. They just want it to be bigger than it is right now."

We are seeing, firsthand, that big government’s trillion-dollar stimulus programs don’t produce jobs.

The Democrats' stimulus includes "$145 billion in state and local aid to forestall austerity measures in the public sector," notes Manhattan Institute senior fellow E.J. McMahon. As private sector workers suffer layoffs, salary cuts and pay freezes, the stimulus gives raises to government employees—who increasingly dominate Big Labor, which returns the favor with cash for Democrats.

"I have no better friend in labor than AFSCME," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi once said of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, the U.S.' largest political campaign donor, giving over $38 million since 1990, almost all to Democrats.

The gelding who occupies the Oval Office infused federal aid to states and localities pumping up the paychecks of heavily unionized public employees who already earn more, on average, than the people who pay their salaries.

Finally, lower cost was the campaign promise of ObamaCare, but as Medicare actuaries confirmed, it will increase healthcare costs. The president's government takeover has already begun to boost private health insurance premiums and all we’ve seen to date is the tip of the iceberg. Still more frightening—there are two more years left in this president-in-training’s term.

May God have mercy on this nation.